... a slice of bob's life.
9:34 PM

I have a difficulty forgiving and letting go.

I still hold a grudge with someone who, I believe, has geared my life towards a different course. Part of me still blames that person for being who and what I am right now and part of me blames myself for letting it happen. As the cliché goes, time heals the wound but never its scar. No matter how you try to conceal it, it will always be there as a haunting reminder of your past. It will always be there so that each time you look at it you’ll be reminded of the pain that you felt when you had it. That’s where my problem seems to lie. That pain still lingers. Or was it just me who never learned how to let go? How can I when half of my life was spent searching for the part of me that was lost and wishing it never happened? How can I when the images still play and haunt me in my sleep?

I lost half of myself then. And now that scar is the only tie that connects me to it. I can forgive in time. But I can never let go. Because I know I’d only be saying goodbye to the half of me that was lost.

... a slice of bob's life.
1:25 AM

Here's another one.

True Talent Test

"Your true talent is numerical ability.

Whether you like numbers or not, you're much better with them than others. Your results indicate that you're not only good at calculations, but that you also understand how to use numbers to your advantage.

People like you typically manage their personal finances with ease. It's doubtful that balancing your checkbook is an all-day affair like it can be for some people. In the work world, your numeric skill can be a benefit in a variety of ways, as well. You might find that you're a whiz at data analysis or are especially sharp when looking at budgets and profit-and-loss statements. Because so many other people have trouble understanding numbers and figures, you really have an opportunity to shine and use this talent to your advantage.

How do we know that your true talent is numerical ability? While you were taking the test, we calculated your responses to each test question, and noticed that, relative to others, you consistently answered questions that measure numerical ability correctly."

Ehem. What happened to "artistic ability"? *grins* Hmmm. guess I'd be better off as an engineer than an artist, eh?

... a slice of bob's life.
5:44 AM

Curious about the "Inkblot Test" that I read from both nei's and iva's, I decided to join the bandwagon and try my luck. And here's what emode.com's Inkblot Test has to say about me.

Your unconscious mind is driven most by

What this means is that when your unconscious mind sees an opportunity to remind you of your sexual desires, it takes full advantage of it. Because of this, things that have very little sexual content or that seem sexually neutral to others, may register as sexually charged to you, at least on an unconscious level.

Your unconscious mind recognizes the value of sexuality. The reason it may do so, is because of a deep-rooted fear of the opposite — living a life that is numb to sexual desire or is turned cold by it. You unconscious mind may be trying to avoid this sexual dullness, and so it reacts by swinging to the opposite extreme, strong sexual desire. By sending you these sexual messages on a regular basis, your unconscious makes sure you don't forget about sex.

If you view your sexual desire with a positive attitude, you can welcome the vitality and strength sexual thoughts can bring into your life. This would allow you to honor the drive your unconscious has chosen to be an important focus for you. It is a message that you are very much alive, and have a great deal of passion to bring to life.

Though your unconscious mind is driven most strongly by Sexuality, there is much more to who you are at your core.

Hmmm. Hindi ako napangiti. Ano yun? Redeeming factor yung last line?

***

The emode.com trip led me to one of the more appealing test that is "The Freud Test". Yeah, THE Freud. And here's what Freud would say.

"Freud would say your strongest unconscious conflict stems from events that happened when you were a

He would also conclude that relative to others, your personality today is moderately affected by the events of your childhood. It appears that your biggest unconscious conflict that still afflicts you stems from what Freud defined as the phallic stage of development that occurred when you were between the ages of three and seven. Freud would say that this conflict can manifest in your personality by making you notice gender more than others do. You're also likely to pay close attention to how gender plays out in relationships. Additionally, you're likely to derive greater pleasure than most others do from masturbation. This normally happens when parents deliver implicit or explicit messages that masturbating is bad and the child naturally reacts by trying to suppress the need and developing guilt around masturbation.

Freud defined five psychosexual developmental stages that everyone goes through on their way from infancy to adolescence. And each of those stages is associated with adult personality traits. At each stage, we all had to overcome certain "conflicts" or hurdles as we learned new skills and developed relationships with others. No one gets through all five stages without having trouble with at least one of them. And it's this unresolved "trouble" that Freud encouraged people to travel back to, recognize, and overcome."

Just as I thought.

... a slice of bob's life.
4:52 AM

After some time off (an unusually long one, at that), it feels a bit strange having to come up with a new entry for this blog. Kinda like having to ride a bike again sans the adrenaline rush. Words don't come out like spit, though, this time around. Maybe my depleted neurons are in dire need of stimulation. That's what you get from not doing anything besides succumbing to the power of that darn tube disguised as the indispensable (?) television. But it's odd. Aren't couch potatoes supposed to be fat? Because unfortunately, I'm not. Should I be thankful? Nah. There's nothing to be thankful for if you are a self-indulging, unproductive twenty-something who's supposed to be out working his ass off. Boy, am I not bitter?

... a slice of bob's life.
1:11 AM

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